Why vampires?

An excellent question. Of all the humanoid mythological beings, the mermaids, sirens, zombies, ghouls, werewolves, witches and fae (oh -- and indeed -- my!), why in the name of all that is unholy are vampires the most beloved, speculated about and -- it must be said -- lusted after?

Vampires are actually quite disgusting, when you think about it. They kill people. They drink their warm blood as though it were ice cold Coke. They're room temperature and often blindingly white-hued. They're dead, and yet they're walking around.

Creepy.

They can shapeshift into all manner of beasties. They can control wolves and bats and rats and bees with but a thought. They can read thoughts, invade minds, and force the hapless into being their minions. They occasionally wear capes. They're dead, and yet they're walking around!

So... just why do we love them? How can we love them? The origins of the vampire myth are nothing if not shrouded in the scariness and the horror, and even the latter-day bloodsuckers we've come to know and have the hots for are often cold-blooded killers... literally. And yet this fascination persists, this slightly -- or not so slightly -- morbid captivation with what are, basically, homicidal corpses who see us as their next meal.

Over the past few decades, vampires have become the heroes of our fondest imaginings and darkest fantasies, and have most recently blossomed into the ultimate romantic lover, most of their novels falling under the banner of “Paranormal Romance”. Whether it be Lestat, Sinclair, Eric Northman or Edward Cullen, there’s a vampire for every temperament, level of squeamishness and interest in S&M. Their stories can make you cringe or make you laugh or make you blush; some can make you weep for the feminist generation who came before, liberating women from their sexual servitude, only to have so-called “heroines” succumb to a whole lot of “’No’ means ‘yes’” seduction.

The main sub-genera of vampire romance fiction are:

SUPERNATURAL TEEN MELODRAMA

The Twilight Series and its progenitor, L.J. Smith’s The Vampire Diaries fall into this category -- obviously. Even Buffy fell into it -- was anything ever more tortured, more tumultuous, and more teenage than Angel and Buffy’s forbidden love? While not solely the province of teens (for evidence, see here and here… and here), its appeal to that demographic is very easy to understand. They usually star the “ordinary” girl who becomes absolutely vital to the ongoing existence of the powerful and beautiful people -- basically, the cool kids in school. She becomes the object of worship and adoration -- basically, Homecoming Queen. And who, as a teenage girl, didn’t want an older boyfriend? A century or so older? Perfect.

VAMP ROMANTIC COMEDY

This is personified by MaryJanice Davidson’s Queen Betsy and Molly Harper’s Jane Jameson, among several hilarious others. These are the tales in which a sharp-witted single girl becomes a reluctant vampire and thence finds her true love, often with attendant will-they-won’t-they banter. Humorous and entertaining, usually crackling with pop culture references (they will definitely mention Buffy at least once) and self-deprecating snark to go along with the sex, these vampire chick tales give us a lighter side of being undead. Their titles are almost always pun-based. And who doesn’t love a good pun?

SUPERNATURAL CHICK LIT

A cousin to above, this genre is exemplified by Charlaine Harris’s Sookie Stackhouse and Tate Hallaway’s Garnet Lacey. Our heroines aren’t vampires, but they are usually far from mundane. Sookie’s a psychic, Garnet’s a witch, and the occasional seer or werewolf or necromancer will show up in this capacity as well. Funny, at times frightening, often fascinating and fun and full of forbidden romance, these series add a different dimension to the vampire romance canon. But do they still bear the amusing, vampire pun-based titles? Of course!

URBAN FANTASY WITH BITE

Often involving a detective or investigator of some kind, our heroines stalk the mean streets in these books, solving Crime. DB Reynolds’ Vampires in America and early Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter are in here; this is one of the more versatile of categories, as even a hint of the Urban Fantasy can turn a Chick Lit series like, say, Katie MacAlister’s light-hearted (and paradoxically-named) Dark Ones series into a surprisingly intense experience.

PARANORMAL STEAM

These are the books that dwell lovingly for dozens of pages on things like creamy, satin-smooth skin, flowering femininity and overwhelming, insistent manhoods. The purple prose is only heightened by such considerations as increased vampire strength, stamina and zero need for oxygen. For examples, see J.R. Ward’s Black Dagger Brotherhood or Kresley Cole's Immortals After Dark. Tanned, shirtless (often headless) men with diamond-cut abs are the norm on these books' covers.

SUBMISSIVE PORN

Anita Blake fits almost exclusively in here nowadays; Christine Feehan’s Dark Series has always lived here. If you like your sexual encounters with a hint of the felony about them, then these books are for you. Suggestive covers are fairly standard here, too; the Anita Blake series has been re-released with a new covers featuring lithe, naked bodies to reflect this.

Now, many series comprise several of these elements, some defy category, and others create categories all their own. But one thing holds true of all of them: these vampires get some play. And still we wonder… why?

Seriously? Why vampires?

We asked some of vampire romance fiction leading lights, and here are their theories:

P.N. ELROD (The Vampire Files)

“I grew up on Universal films, the Hammer Films, and Dark Shadows. The vamps always had the best stuff and the coolest cool--at least until someone staked them. My vamps avoid that sort of thing, so they keep the best stuff and remain cool.”

MARTA ACOSTA (Casa Dracula)

“Vampires are the lemons of the supernatural world: they can be served in appetizers, main courses, side dishes, dessert, and even beverages. Vampires can be as substantial, ancient, and intricately nuanced as a Moroccan tagine with preserved lemons. They can be as richly sensual as lemon risotto with truffles. They can be as delightful and fun as a lemon soufflé. They can be tart and refreshing like an icy glass of lemonade on a hot day, or as comforting as hot lemon and honey on a cold one. My own vampires are lemon-poppyseed muffins: somewhere between dessert and a meal, and the pieces of lemon rind and poppyseed get stuck in your teeth, making you recall the muffin later and think, ‘My, that really was quite good!’"

CHLOE NEILL (Chicagoland Vampires)

“Why vampires? Because it was literary destiny--at least for romance writers. Jane Austen's Mr. Darcy is a much-loved romantic hero because he and Elizabeth overcome the obstacle that's keeping them apart: the societal strictures of Regency England.

“Vampires give writers a new kind of obstacle--a biological barrier that makes 'Mr. Darcys' out of Edwards, Angels, and in my case, Ethans. They all want their heroines, but they're afraid of their own need, of the predatory depth of their desires. Vampirism stands between them, so the couples must figure out away to overcome that obstacle. It is the struggle--and triumph--that readers love.

"And that makes writers love them even more.”

MICHELLE BARDSLEY (The Broken Heart Vampires)

“Because they have ... really ... big ... fangs! Heh. I write paranormal romance, so my concept of vampires (at least my heroes and heroines) are the sexy undead looking for love in all the dark places. My own little spin on the world of bloodsuckers is to follow the immortal lives of parents who were turned into vampires--and they still have mortal children to raise. You can't let a little thing like being dead get in the way of PTA meetings, soccer games, and bake sales.”

GERRY BARTLETT (Glory St. Claire)

“Why vampires? The men epitomize the alpha males women hate to love. They are strong, virile and have an edgy sexy quality. The blood lust just adds an extra layer of danger and excitement. When I'm writing my vampire heroine, I imagine a woman who is immortal, who has lived for hundreds of years stuck in a body that's curvier than is popular now. I write humor so I have fun with it, but it makes for some great internal conflict. The man she loves is one of those ancient male vamps who hasn't adjusted to modern times. I never forget that my vampires were human before they got their fangs. They may have monster tendencies now, but they are still the person they were before they were turned. So each vampire is different and far from stereotypical. Of course my vampires are passionate with very strong libidos. That makes for some steamy scenes and interesting relationships.”

TATE HALLAWAY (Garnet Lacey)

“I actually think about this question a lot. Vampires have remained ingrained in the cultural consciousness since (well, even before,) Bram Stoker's Dracula. What is that about? Part of my answer has to do with this simple fact: vampires have always represented sex, and specifically taboo sex.

“I know that when I first picked up Anne Rice in the 80’s, the vampire was kind of the vaguely-sexually-threatening, bisexual addict. Unlike Stoker and many of the other vampire writers before, Rice challenged the reader to find her androgynous, not-at-all nice vampires not only sympathetic, but also attractive. And I totally did. I'm not exactly sure why, but I think that when she was writing Lestat and the others, Americans were coming to terms with the AIDs crisis (and the knowledge that sex truly could be deadly). Also, in some ways, vampires were a response to a kind of Reagan-era helplessness many of us felt toward corporations running rampant, etc., which also lead, IMHO, to the popularity of the cyberpunk movement in science fiction that was happening approximately at the same time. Vampires in the 80’s were part of some gritty underworld that also included sexual "deviants" and junkies. Those sorts of character appeared all over in the 80’s and early 90’s.

“The next thing to happen to vampires was the transformation into the romantic lead in urban fantasy/ paranormal romance. They lost some of their scary edge, maybe partly because of the general acceptance/ mainstreaming of queerness, and I think they moved into romance because of a sense/misconception that there's a lack of modern alpha males. Modern men are perceived as more likely to be sensitive and metrosexual, so now the vampire is a strong, dominant, sexually aggressive lover. The desire for a modern, feminist woman to be held down and ravished is taboo in its own way, and the vampire continues to be the transgressor, sexually.

“So, why vampires? Because they're sexy. Bad, hot sexy.”

MARYJANICE DAVIDSON (The Undead/Queen Betsy Series)

“Why vampires? Why... dead guys? Because that's what we're talking about, right? Fictionally-sanctioned necrophilia? Um, not so much. The cool thing about the ravenous hordes of the undead is that they've got all the advantages of being dead (fewer blind dates, fewer IRS audits, virtually no head colds or STDs) with none of the disads (rigor mortis, eternal damnation, the unbearable loneliness of the grave, insect infestation). Sure, sometimes it's hard to build a romance around a couple who are radically different in ages. As my vampire queen, Betsy, told the (eventual) love of her life, ‘So, when you turned sixty, I was... a fetus. Dude. Don't even think of touching me.’

“But when it works, it's pretty great. (‘Dear MJ Davidson: I love Betsy and Sinclair! Except your books need more Sinclair. And more sex! And more sex! Thanks!’) Great for me, I mean. But also occasionally my readers.”

These authors, among oh so many others, have given us extensive vampire mythologies, absorbing tales of misadventure and mystery, and -- of course -- more than a few Happily Forever Afters. Herewith is a handy primer to 20 romantic vampire series currently in print or in progress. Some best-sellers, some little-known gems, these series continue to bring the sexy, sassy, witty and crazy; the hot, cool, strange and funny; the dangerous, scandalous, ridiculous and enchanting to their varied and yet related worlds.

So, why vampires? We’re still unsure. But as MaryJanice Davidson says: “Well, jeez. Why not?”

Now, let us begin...

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Ahead: The Black Dagger Brotherhood, Casa Dracula and more...