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Compendium of Great Geek Quotes


QUOTE OF THE DAY

March 17, 2013

BIG MAMA: Darlin’, forever is a long, long time, and time has a way of changing things. — The Fox and the Hound (1981)

If you are one of the literally tens of people who have “Liked” us on Facebook or who Follow us on Twitter, then you probably know that we like to offer up the occasional Quote of the Day, taken from all across genre, whenever it strikes our somewhat capricious fancy. Some funny, some profound — some profoundly funny — these are the gems that fuel our collective souls, all born out of the science fiction, fantasy, horror, supernatural, paranormal and covert ops tales that we love, in their many and delightfully varied forms.Following several requests for these pearls of great wisdom to be collected into one handy dandy list for ease of reference — along with any others we happen to like and wish to share — here we present the Geek Speak Magazine Compendium of Great Geek Quotes, broken down into their various sections for your convenience. We’ll make sure to update it regularly, so come on by occasionally and check out our new additions. Enjoy!

 


 

MOVIES

ALIENS (1986)

PRIVATE HUDSON: Hey, maybe you haven’t been keeping up on current events, but we just got our asses kicked, pal!

ARMY OF DARKNESS (1992)  Read Review

ASH: See this? This… is my boomstick! The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart’s top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That’s right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It’s got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That’s right. Shop smart… shop S-Mart. YA GOT THAT?!

BLADE RUNNER (1982)

RICK DECKARD: I’ve had people walk out on me before, but not when I was being so charming.

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (1992)

PIKE: Look! Air!

CONAN THE BARBARIAN (1982)

KING OSRIC: What daring! What outrageousness! What insolence! What arrogance!… I salute you.

ELF (2003)  Read Review

BUDDY: I just like to smile. Smiling’s my favorite!

FORBIDDEN PLANET (1956)

DR. MORBIUS: A commanding officer doesn’t need brains. Just a good loud voice, huh?

GATTACA (1997)

VINCENT FREEMAN: There is no gene for fate.

INCEPTION (2010)  Read Review

EAMES: Don’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.

INDEPENDENCE DAY (1996)

CAPTAIN STEVEN HILLER: Look, I really don’t think they flew 90 billion light years to come down here and start a fight.

INNERSPACE (1987)

TUCK PENDLETON: Oh, no. I’m inside a guy who likes game shows.

LABYRINTH (1986)

JARETH: I ask for so little. Just let me rule you and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave.

MAD MAX (1979)

FIFI: They say people don’t believe in heroes anymore. Well damn them! You and me, Max, we’re gonna give them back their heroes!

MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL (1975)

HEAD KNIGHT: We are now no longer the Knights who say “Ni”. We are now the Knights who say “Ekke-ekke-ekke-ekke-p’tang-zoom-boing-z’nourrwringmm.

PLANET OF THE APES (1968)

COLONEL GEORGE TAYLOR: It’s a mad house! A mad house!

RIFFTRAX

MICHAEL J. NELSON: They made a whole movie about boron? — on The Fifth Element (1997)

RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER (1964)

RUDOLPH: Goodbye, Cornelius. I hope you find lots of tinsel. Goodbye, Hermey. Whatever a dentist is, I hope someday you will be the greatest.

SPACEBALLS (1987)  Read Review

YOGURT: Never underestimate the power of the Schwartz!

STAR WARS: EPISODE IV: A NEW HOPE (1977)

HAN SOLO: Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.

STAR WARS: EPISODE V: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK (1980)

HAN SOLO: You like me because I’m a scoundrel. There aren’t enough scoundrels in your life.

STRANGE DAYS (1995)

PHILO GANT: Paranoia is just reality on a finer scale.

TEEN WOLF (1985)

COACH FINSTOCK: There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.

THE AVENGERS (2012)

TONY STARK: It’s good to meet you, Dr. Banner. Your work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled. And I’m a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.

THE CROW (1994)

ALBRECHT: A guy shows up looking like a mime from Hell and you lose him right out in the open. Well, at least he didn’t do that walking against the wind shit, I hate that.

THE FIFTH ELEMENT (1997)

ZORG: I don’t like warriors. Too narrow-minded, no subtlety. And worse, they fight for hopeless causes. Honor? Huh! Honor’s killed millions of people, it hasn’t saved a single one.

THE FOX AND THE HOUND (1981)

BIG MAMA: Darlin’, forever is a long, long time, and time has a way of changing things.

THE LAST STARFIGHTER (1984)

ALEX ROGAN: Terrific. I’m about to get killed a million miles from nowhere with a gung-ho iguana who tells me to relax.

THE LITTLE MERMAID (1989)

SEBASTIAN: Hm. Teenagers. They think they know everything. You give them an inch, they swim all over you. 

THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING (2003)

SAM: It must be getting near tea-time — leastways in decent places where there is still tea-time.

THE MATRIX (1999)

MORPHEUS: I’m trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You’re the one that has to walk through it.

THE PRINCESS BRIDE (1987)

WESTLEY: We are men of action, lies do not become us.

TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY (1991) Read Review

THE TERMINATOR: I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle.

ZOMBIELAND

COLUMBUS: You want to know the best thing about Z-land? No Facebook status updates.

TV

ANGEL  Read Review

FRED: Destiny is just another word for inevitable, and nothing’s inevitable as long as you stand up, look it in the eye, and say, “You’re evitable!” — “Offspring” (03.07)

BABYLON 5

IVANOVA: There is nothing more annoying than Mr. Garibaldi when he’s right. — “Legacies” (01.17)

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA

GAIUS BALTAR: You’ll forgive me, Madam President, if I don’t wish to be executed based solely on your… gut feeling. — “Six Degrees of Separation” (01.07)

BEING HUMAN (UK)

GEORGE: We have to put a stop to this. Doesn’t he understand these people are British? You’re not allowed to talk to your neighbours until you’ve nodded at them for fifteen years. — “Episode 2″ (01.02)

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

BUFFY: You know, I always say that a day without an autopsy is like a day without sunshine. — “Bad Eggs” (03.12)

RILEY: Buffy. When I saw you stop the world from, you know, ending, I just assumed that was a big week for you. It turns out I suddenly find myself needing to know the plural of apocalypse.” — “A New Man” (04.12)

COMMUNITY

TROY: Me and Abed have an agreement. If one of us dies, we stage it to look like a suicide caused by the unjust cancelation of Firefly. We’re gonna get that show back on the air, buddy.” — “Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking” (02.16)

DOCTOR WHO  Read Reviews

THE DOCTOR: Look at these people, these human beings. Consider their potential! From the day they arrive on the planet, blinking, step into the sun, there is more to see than can ever be seen, more to do than— no, hold on. Sorry, that’s The Lion King. But the point still stands: Leave them alone! — “The Christmas Invasion” (02.X)

HARVEY BIRDMAN, ATTORNEY AT LAW

HARVEY: Debbie, we’re going to need some law books. With pictures this time. — “Death by Chocolate” (01.04)

FIREFLY  Read Review

MAL: Kaylee, what the hell’s goin’ on in the engine room? Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose? — “The Train Job” (01.02)

FRINGE  Read Reviews

PETER: You ever feel like, every time we get close to finding the answers, somebody changes the question? — “The Firefly” (03.10)

GET SMART

SEIGFRIED: You don’t shush here. I shush here. Shush! — “Rub-A-Dub-Dub… Three Spies in a Sub” (02.09)

FUTURAMA 

BENDER: This is the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me! — “War is the H-Word” (03.02)

LA FEMME NIKITA

MICHAEL: The only part of me that’s not dead is you. — “War” (01.17)

QUANTUM LEAP

AL: It’s not like you’re lost in a mall — you’re lost in time. — “Last Dance Before an Execution” (03.19)

RED DWARF  Read Review

CAT: You’d never get a cat to be a servant. You ever see a cat return a stick? “Hey, man! You threw the stick, you go get it yourself! I’m busy! If you wanted the stick so bad, why’d you throw it away in the first place? — “Kryten” (02.01)

STARGATE SG-1  Read Review

JACK O’NEILL: There’s a man… He’s bald and wears a short-sleeved shirt, and somehow he’s very important to me. I think his name is… Homer. — “Beneath the Surface” (04.10)

STAR TREK 

CAPTAIN KIRK: Mr. Spock, the women on your planet are logical. That’s the only planet in the galaxy that can make that claim. — “Elaan of Troyius” (03.13)

SUPERNATURAL  Read Reviews

DEAN: What do you want me to do, Sam, huh? Sit around all day writing sad poems about how I’m going to die? You know what, I’ve got one. Let’s see, what rhymes with “Shut up, Sam”? — “Fresh Blood” (03.07).

THE BIG BANG THEORY 

SHELDON: A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender replies: “For you, no charge.” — “The Vengeance Formulation” (03.09)

THE X-FILES 

SCULLY: It seems to me the best relationships, the ones that last, are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at a person and you see something more then you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere, and the person who was just a friend is suddenly… the only person you could ever imagine yourself with. — “Rain King” (06.08)

TRANSFORMERS

OPTIMUS PRIME: Just remember, there’s a thin line between being a hero, and being a memory. — “More Than Meets the Eye, Part 3″ (01.03)

V (2009)

DR. SIDNEY MILLER: Anna’s a lizard? That sucks. She was hot. — “Red Rain” (02.01)

XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS  Read Reviews

GABRIELLE: I’ll rise but I refuse to shine. — “Been There, Done That” (03.02)

BOOKS

ADAMS, DOUGLAS

“In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.” — The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (1979)

“The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double-backwards-somersault through a hoop whilst whistling the ‘Star Spangled Banner’, but in fact the message was this: Solongand thanks for all the fish.” — The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (1979)

ASIMOV, ISAAC

“Physically, and, to an extent, mentally, a robot—any robot—is superior to human beings. What makes him slavish, then? Only the First Law! Why, without it, the first order you tried to give a robot would result in your death.” — Susan Calvin, “Little Lost Robot”, I, Robot (1950)

AUSTEN, JANE AND WINTERS, BEN H.

“‘Infirmity!’ said Elinor, ‘do you call Colonel Brandon infirm? Deformed, maybe; repulsive certainly. More fish than man, face-wise, it cannot be argued. But infirm?'” — Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters (2009)

BRADBURY, RAY

“We have everything we need to be happy, but we aren’t happy. Something’s missing. I looked around. The only thing I positively knew was gone was the books I’d burned in ten or twelve years. So I thought books might help.” –Montag, Fahrenheit 451 (1953)

BUJOLD, LOIS McMASTER

“You know, if you’re trying to take a roomful of people by surprise, it’s a lot easier to hit your targets if you don’t yell going through the door.” — Miles Vorkosigan, The Warrior’s Apprentice (1986)

DAVIDSON, MARYJANICE  Read Review

“I was so furious I was actually dizzy with it. There were so many bitchy, sarcastic observations to make, I was having a sarcasm stroke. ‘My God! You people! You’re – you’re so stupid you’re making my eyeballs throb. They’re throbbing, dammit!'” — Queen Betsy, Undead and Unfinished (2010)

EDDINGS, DAVID

“My Lord, I find thy face apelike and thy form misshapen. Thy beard, moreover, is an offense against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fur which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog than a proper adornment for a human face. Is it possible that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat?” — Mandorallen, The Seeress of Kell (1992)

FFORDE, JASPER

“If the real world were a book it would NEVER find a publisher. Overlong, detailed to the point of distraction–and, ultimately, without a major resolution.” — Hamlet, Something Rotten (2004)

HEINLEIN, ROBERT A.  Read Review

“Happiness consists in getting enough sleep. Just that, nothing more.” — Juan Rico, Starship Troopers (1959)

LACKEY, MERCEDES

If it is stupid but it works, it isn’t stupid. — a Shin’a’in saying, Owlknight (1999)

McGUIRE, SEANAN

“The laws of physics have already been violated. What happens if they decide to press charges?” October Daye, A Local Habitation (2010)

PETTERSSON, VICKI

“Hiding behind the mask of a quotation, using someone else’s words to bolster our own softly blooming emotions.” — Joanna Archer, The Scent of Shadows (2007)

PRATCHETT, TERRY

“Nature abhors dimensional abnormalities, and seals them neatly away so that they don’t upset people. Nature, in fact, abhors a lot of things, including vacuums, ships called the Marie Celeste, and the chuck keys for electric drills.” — Pyramids (1989)

RANKIN, ROBERT

“The hill road wound upwards, as hill roads do, unless you’re coming down them, of course.” — The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse (2002)

RICE, ANNE

“Evil is a point of view. We are immortal. And what we have before us are the rich feasts that conscience cannot appreciate and mortal men cannot know without regret.” — Lestat, Interview with the Vampire (1976)

ROWLING, J. K.

“Never trust anything that can think for itself, if you can’t see where it keeps its brain.” — Arthur Weasley, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (1998)

SANDERSON, BRANDON

“People can do great things. However, there are some things they just can’t do. I, for instance, have not been able to transform myself into a Popsicle, despite years of effort.” — Alcatraz Smedry,Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians (2007)

VONNEGUT, KURT

“Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops.” — Slaughterhouse-Five, or The Children’s Crusade: A Duty-Dance with Death(1969)

WEBER, DAVID

“The world’s best swordsman doesn’t fear the second best; he fears the worst swordsman, because he can’t predict what the idiot will do.” — The Honor of the Queen (1993)

OTHER

CLARKE, ARTHUR C.

“I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.”

GAIMAN, NEIL

“The one I just hate is when I’m just an actor on a strange television version of my life. Have you ever had that dream?” — Clark Kent, The Sandman: The Wake

MARVEL: ULTIMATE ALLIANCE (VG)

“The day my father Odin banished me from Asgard, I was bitten by a vampire and had radioactive waste dumped into my eyes. To make matters worse, my mutant ability to control weather activated just as I was hit by a blast of gamma radiation.” — Deadpool

WHEDON, JOSS

“Being an X-Man means a lot to me. But it doesn’t always agree with me.” — Emma Frost, Astonishing X-Men #2