REBEL FANGIRL

One thing that’s endlessly fascinating is how every Skywalker ends up reverse-engineered from the blueprint of Luke and Leia and how they match each other so thoroughly so that you know all of these people are absolutely related. When I was watching Revenge of the Sith and A New Hope back to back, it became very obvious that Anakin and Padme were the perfect example of how Biology is Destiny in the Star Wars Galaxy.

I suspect that J. J. Abrams was trying for something a bit different with Kylo Ren in theory. In practice, you can see that most likely Han Solo was right: he has too much Vader in him. What no one counted on is that a lot of it also involves stomping around and being dramatic. But rather than taking away from Kylo/Ben’s character, this makes him perfect. Because it was always his destiny.

So what makes someone a Skywalker? What makes them worthy of great love, devotion, and the (more than) occasional eye roll?

Skywalkers love to stomp around and look at sunsets

This is where some of the most iconic imagery on Star Wars comes from. From Luke’s yearning on Tatooine, to Vader’s self-loathing on Mustafar, Skywalkers always look to the sky to get their emotions out of their system.

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Skywalkers have terrible tempers

Sure, Anakin, Obi-Wan was totally holding you back all those times. It wasn’t your temper tantrums at all. Leia, who was supposed to be an Imperial Senator, has absolutely no patience for anyone’s nonsense, not even Han’s. (Okay, especially not Han’s.) And of course, Kylo Ren has become the source of my favorite new “nope” gif for the length and breadth of his angry outbursts.

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Skywalkers love passionately and inspire love in a way few others do

Anakin’s tendency towards forming (often forbidden) attachments is legendary, but one of the things less often discussed is how both Obi-Wan and Padme loved him so much that they let him get away with it, until it led to their downfall. In fact, I would venture that Anakin was the only attachment Obi-Wan Kenobi ever had. And while Luke and Leia are connected through the Force, they inspired a couple of smugglers and other criminals to act against their own best interests out of love and concern.

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Skywalkers have the best hair

Okay, okay, this is pretty superficial. But I am a fangirl, after all, and you know that they have their hair game up five notches above anyone else. Anakin looked great post-Padawan rattail, and Padme had about 5 bajillion awesome hairstyles. Leia and Luke both had awesome hair genes and Kylo Ren could probably fund the First Order on his Garnier commercials alone.

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Skywalkers are the drama queens of the Galaxy

Be careful of Skywalkers because their drama has a tendency to mess up the entire Galaxy. From the many “Noooooooos” to the getting dumped into lava, getting their limbs chopped off, and wearing scary masks for effect, they should really be called Dramawalkers, because that would accurately describe everyone in this entire family. It makes them fun to watch, but I wouldn’t use someone else’s ten-foot-pole to touch them with.

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Still, cool hair.

About the author

SARA PAIGE

Sara Paige is a Columnist for Geek Speak Magazine and is happy to put her enormous and completely unprofitable knowledge of random pop culture to work. She has lots of unpopular opinions on all sorts of large movie franchises and can't wait to share them all.