13. Higher Institute of Villainous Education
We have nothing to fear but fear itself. Oh, and a megalomaniacal headmaster, the world’s deadliest assassin, giant mutated plant monsters, an international cartel of supervillains, and the security forces of every country on earth, but other than that… just fear.
— Otto, The Overlord Protocol
As seen in: The H.I.V.E. series by Mark Walden
Location: An island lair, whereabouts kept very, very secret.
Student body: A multi-cultural assortment of precocious criminal masterminds (or just criminals), many of whom are legacy students, all divided into four educational “streams”: Alpha, Technical, Financial/Political and Henchman.
Faculty: Headed up by the enigmatic Dr. Nero, past instructors include the Contessa, a woman who could compel obedience with only her voice, and the current staff roster offers up a cat as the head of Stealth and Evasion. And how many other schools have a world class assassin on staff?
Why you want to go there: Under the sporadic control of H.I.V.E.mind, an omnipotent AI with occasional flashes of sentience, and equipped with the very latest in world domination-y equipment and ideas, HIVE is a veritable smorgasbord of awesome for any aspiring evil overlord.
Why you totally don’t: Isn’t high school evil enough? Plus, the casualty rate isn’t exactly low.
— Rachel Hyland
12. Woodsboro High School
PRINCIPAL HIMBRY: Remember, your principal loves you and I want you to be safe. All students are encouraged to return to their homes promptly from school grounds. Avoid strangers, walk in twos and threes; I will be here tomorrow. Thank you.
As seen in: Scream (1996)
Location: Glorious Woodsboro, California.
Student body: Photogenic pop culture mavens with improbably clear skin and shockingly short life expectancies.
Faculty: Well, the principal is the Fonz, so…
Why you want to go there: Dude, the principal is The Fonz!
Why you totally don’t: When you learn about dissection in Biology, some of your fellow students may be paying just a little too much attention.
— Rachel Hyland
11. The School of Magic on the Island of Roke
The more he learned, the less he would have to fear, until finally in his full power as Wizard he needed fear nothing in the world, nothing at all.
As seen in: The Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula K. Le Guin, and the 2004 mini-series based upon it.
Location: Uh. The Island of Roke. On Earthsea.
Student body: The most magically talented of all the children in all the lands of Earthsea. Er… the boy children, that is.
Faculty: In addition to a wise and venerable head mage, there are nine masters, named for their disciplines: Master Windkey, Master Hand, Master Herbal, Master Changer, Master Summoner, Master Namer, Master Chanter, Master Patterner and Master Doorkeeper. Most of which are fairly self-explanatory.
Why you want to go there: You learn magic!
Why you totally don’t: Mostly you learn it by studying the Old Speech (aka dragon language) and memorizing the “True Names” of things. Makes magic seem a little too much like Spanish class, doesn’t it?
— Kate Nagy