So not okay.

So not okay.

The Youth Center, where the kids are helping set up a cultural food fair in support of a local day care center. ‘Cause they’re just givers, you know? Juice Bar Ernie has some hula-clad teens in tow, which is super creepy, and gets creepier when Bulk and Skull start to leer at them and they actually simper. Uh… girl power?

“This is gonna be an awesome food fair!” Zach enthuses, fists pumping.

“Yeah, I just hope Rita isn’t hungry for trouble,” deadpans Jason. That boy really is lucky he has those arms.

Terrence Trent D'Arby and Unnamed Punk Girl

Terrence Trent D’Arby and Unnamed Punk Girl

The food fair is open, and Bulk, Skull and Unnamed Punk Girl are joined by a new member to their troublemaking crew, who definitely modelled his look on 80s R&B sensation Terrence Trent D’Arby. Ever up to mischief, the foursome grab some stupidly unguarded pies in an attempt to kick off the episode’s titular food fight. Bulk is fearless, and eager to impress Unnamed Punk Girl Who Also Doesn’t Speak, and so aims a pie at Principal Caplan. He knocks off the poor man’s toupe, covers Skull in what is obviously shaving cream, and then it’s “Food fight!”

The whole town goes NUTS. Seriously, adults and all. Jerks.

This gives Rita, ill and therefore particularly quarrelsome, an idea. She has Finster create her a pig monster, and sends him to Earth to eat stuff, and thereby… what, starve us out? Her plans are getting less and less coherent. (Her illness never comes up again in this episode, by the way, and one has to wonder why it was introduced as a plot point at all. It’s not like it could possibly be foreshadowing—this show has no idea what that word even means.)

foodfightMeanwhile, the kids are desperate to save the food fair, though how they think they can with the Hawaiian, Asian and American stalls (that’s about the extent of the cross-culturalness of it all) liberally coated with pie is a mystery. I guess they could sell it as fusion? Jason manages to make Bulk drop a pie on himself by waving sausage links around like nunchaku – don’t worry if you don’t get how, it literally makes no sense to me and I watched it happen – and the other kids cause grief to Skull and Terrence, but when Zack sends Bulk sliding along a table, a bowl of punch lands on an irate Mr Caplan, who decides to blame Jason and co. for the debacle. Maybe because they’re the only ones still clean?

Oh, the injustice! I am seriously seething with it right now.

Seriously, townsfolk?

Seriously, townsfolk?

The rest of the town slinks away, abashed – seriously; what a bunch of jerks – and despite the Power Rangers being tasked with the clean-up, they ditch it when Zordon calls them to Twinkle Light Tower.

We see vision of Rita’s pig monster in a market, gobbling up food at an enormous rate. “I calculate that he will eat the entire food supply of earth in 48 hours,” Zordon warns ominously.

48 hours? The whole of Earth? Come on, Zordon, don’t be ridiculous. I am really beginning to question this omniscient head’s omniscience. Or at least his basic math.

Then: It’s morphin’ time! I love that the kids don’t even attempt to solve things as their kid-selves anymore, and immediately call on their mystical ninja suits and foreign footage stunt doubles. Not using their powers just made no sense, and it was a wise decision to abandon that foolishness.

Listen to me, talking as if they were making a sensible narrative shift. They for sure just did it to save on actor salaries. That is also why Unnamed Punk Girl Who Also Doesn’t Speak doesn’t, well, speak. If she just nods and smiles, she’s still basically an extra.

48 hours, Zordon? NO.

48 hours, Zordon? NO.

Back to the fight, the kids all powered up and ready for action. However, here their powers avail them naught, as the pig monster kicks their colorful asses and then demorphs them with a vortex thing that Finster should really program into all future monsters. (But he won’t.) The pig then makes his way to the food fair, which is somehow still in progress – ?!? – and he is “causing havoc,” quoth Zordon, to the already pre-havocked gathering.

“Where are the Power Rangers when you need them?” Ernie squeals.

Little does he know, they’re… running? To the Youth Center? From somewhere in town? And not, like, teleporting right there? With the power that Zordon has, and that Billy programmed into their wrist communicator thingies? Okay. They arrive panting, just as the pig vanishes, the food fair even more trashed.

The gang puzzle over how they are going to defeat this monster after he ate their weapons – oh yeah, that happened – when Trini notices something. The pig ate everything at the fair except the spicy foods.

“We could use that information to defeat the monster,” deduces Billy. “Why not lure the animal with food, after we stick a piece of this spicy radish root inside?”

“Morphenomenal idea, Billy!” Kimberley commends, wide-eyed.

Aw, welcome back “morphenomenal”! I missed you.

(And also, it was really Trini’s idea. Sisters before misters, Kim.)

The kids morph again, this time calling out their ancient animals – it’s always weird when they don’t, isn’t it? – and somehow manage to scare up enough delicious food to trick the monster into eating his personal Kryptonite, like how you sneak a worming tablet into a dog’s peanut butter. That monster, meanwhile, definitely suffers from IBS or some other debilitating digestive disorder, because just a touch of the spicy radish root and he starts emitting mustard gas and, er, returns all the kids’ weapons as disgustingly as possible. Thanks, show.

pigkryptonite

In lieu of the Megazord this time out, the kids use their recovered weapons to form the Power Blaster – I mean, at least Purell them first – and the little piggy cries wee, wee, wee, all the way dead.

Then it’s back to the food fair, to clean up, to get a fresh delivery of saleable goods from Alpha, and to be told that not only has almost enough money been raised that the tiny tots of Angel Grove need not be stinted new play equipment, but that Mr. Caplan does not hold them responsible for the food fight after all.

Phew! I was really going to be stewing over that one, else.

NEXT TIME: A super-sonic VDub!

Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers
“Food Fight” (S01E06)
Written by Cheryl Saban | Directed by Robert Hughes
September 4, 1993 | Fox Kids

About the author

RACHEL HYLAND

Rachel Hyland is Editor-in-Chief of Geek Speak Magazine and, she is pretty sure, the one true queen of Fantastica, raised in obscurity to protect her from the dark lord Sinisterium. If you see her magic sword, get in touch via twitter: @rachyland or Instagram: @rachelseesdeadpeople. The fate of the many worlds may just depend upon it.