Because sometimes we CAN have nice things…


Batman Desktop Bat-Signal


Stuck at work on a Friday afternoon, with a mountain of work dumped onto your desk – you’ll be here all weekend if you don’t find a way out of this. But everyone else has been quietly ducking out early, ready to enjoy their weekend. Who will come to your aid? Who can you call for to dispense some workplace justice? The hours tick by, and then darkness falls as the cleaning crew turns out the lights on you. Sitting there, alone with your work, you now know who it is that can save you, and you reach for the signal…

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na… Bat-Signal! Hopefully your work calls for a lot of vengance, brooding, and batarang dispensing, because that’s the sort of help you’re going to get when you trigger this Batman Desktop Bat-Signal. It tilts and rotates 360° and projects the familiar yellow-and-shadow signal up to 26 feet away so Batman can see it from any of the cubicle rows. Use it to call in the Dark Knight himself when help from his junior assistant “Robin” just won’t cut it.



Here at Planet Express, we’re always looking for fresh recruits to join our spaceship crew. Whether your permanent career assignment is in intergalactic navigation or accounting and administration, chances are, we have a slot open for you right now. Career deserter? No problem! As part of our ongoing effort to give back through recycling, we’ve salvaged the career chips from some of our past, brave crewmembers and now can pass those savings on to you!

What will you be doing when you work for Planet Express? Well, you’ll get to see the entire universe and also transport cargo! And when we say entire universe, we mean it. We go places other delivery companies (not to name names — Mom’s Friendly Delivery Company) only dream of going. (Why they were screaming and running while dreaming, we’re not sure. It’s probably something in the water.) In addition to the fun work environment, some of our benefits include on-board medical facilities with highly trained staff (unless that’s the crewmember you’re replacing… in which case, welcome aboard!), a pension plan, stock options, not having a uniform that involves kneesocks, or, indeed, any socks at all if you so wish, and an endless supply of free darkmatter.


Who is buying these? Maybe they’re intended as a gift for that special someone you really, really hate…

Plush Zombie Slippers


Ever wake up in the morning and feel groggy and disoriented? Every morning? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. We’ll admit to being zombies in the morning hours, which is probably why we schedule most of our important meetings for after lunch.

As such, we thought it would be awesome to slip our feet into some Plush Zombie Slippers in the morning. If we’re going to feel like zombies, we might as well dress the part, right? This pair of zombies is a little confused. Where are your brains again? Let them gently nom on your feet. Who knew being chewed on was so comfortable? Best of all, there’s no right foot or left foot. Makes it easy to put ’em on in the morning when you have half a brain.




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Geek Speak Magazine's crack staff, speaking fluent geek since 2010...